thought (s) part II

Lately, a few long lost frens's message popped-in on my phone and break the silence gap between ourselves.. I dunno if it iss a good or a bad sign.. but so far, it were all good.. I kind of in the middle of something and do need some advice though.. thank you all for that.. so, continue from the last post about my thoughts.. I dunno if I should move somewhere else to do something else.. or stuck here with no enough challenge(s) to do.. since I don't have my own family yet, what should I do with my life?.. I do have a family, I've been taking care of my family since forever.. that obligation will never go away.. there will always be one person who is responsible to do just that.. it's not possible to run away .. what I'm saying is as in right now timeframe.. what am I suppose to do for the time being?.. I'm a truly believer of this jinxy things.. I know.. what you're thinking.. so whatever!!.. I'm so into not to break-the-spell.. if I tell you guys in advance what my plans are.. the magic will be gone.. so, I will let you know, how it turns out.. just not right now.. the time will comes.. do not worry about that..

my fren's advice is to move forward and try to bend the rules a little bit.. it seems that I have so many experiences already (well, that's what I thought too..).. my problem is that I'm not capable of putting it into nice, bombastic, cheezy words to capture the reader's attention (rhetorical speaking: interviewer).. maybe you guys can give me some advice on that.. apparently, I put so many general things of my knowledge on paper.. it seems that I'd kind of know more about systems support.. which I never ever realized that in the first place.. bcoz for me.. it's not a brainy things.. and this was what I got in reply.. my fren said 'if you know brainy stuff, then you should be a nuclear scientist!'.. see how paranoid and pathetic I am? I'm scared that I'll never be good enough for the position I want.. I'm not into demanding thing.. or maybe I just don't know how to do just that.. *a very long sigh*

so, there's my thought.. maybe you can give me some advise on that.. or maybe you don't have a clue what I'm rambling about.. heh.. I'd really appreciate it though.. thank you very much in advance..